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| You set me free. Though I'm sad to say, you really did. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be in the mindset that I am today. Thank you. & yes dear, you were right about everything. I did need to live my senior year up, I do want to party, just like you. I'm sorry, you knew the state I was in, I didn't want to let it go. But now I have, & I feel liberated. Again. I'm happy, I'm going to college, and I'm living my life the way that I was meant to without being held back.Hope all is well & I love you. _________________________ Wow, I haven't updated in sooo long. Well, it's 12:19am, on a school night, I'm up because why? I have freaking swine flu! Yes, the H1N1 epidemic has hit me so hard. I feel like shit on top of an iceberg. It's just ridiculous. & not only that, but because I'm head hauncho for our school paper (Yes, Editor in Chief and I say it proudly!) the system is just falling apart. I swear the class has just gone haywire. ugh. Means extra work when I get back, lovely. I start all my CSU apps tomorrow. Fullerton,San Jose,San Diego, Long Beach, just to name a few. But really it's still Santa Barbara or Hawaii Pacific. By the way, I attained 2 scholarships to HPU thank you very much. One for having a 3.5+ gpa & the other for journalism. I'd be an inter for the Kalamama which is their school paper my freshman year. How sweet of a deal is that?! But right now it's really still up in the air, we'll see. 18th Bday coming up. Planning the pawwwtay with Jayy girl. How crackin` is it about to be? themed and everything. & you already know I'll be ripped out of my mind like usual. Gonna get my tattoos as well, pierce my tounge, then off to the Philippines I do in December. I already know I'll miss baby doll something crucial but this has been something thats been a long time coming. I'm really in such a good place right now, other than my illness, ha! Ready to start my life on my own. It's calling me. | | |
| What it is...
What it was...
What I am?
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| - Everything you feel will quite literally be written all over your face now. Everything. So if you're angry, don't bother trying to hide it, and do not -- repeat -- do not -- drive. Instead, why not just tell the person who's pushed your buttons exactly how you feel about what they've done? You don't have to be mean about it. In fact, the calmer you are, the more firmly you'll make your point.-SCORPIO
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| Sheesh this swine flew thing is realllly getting crazy! Heard they're shutting down a school in Concord? WHAT THE? Hella close!
Brr it's sooo cold. I'm sick (no, thankfully I don't have the swine flu!), but I do feel like shit regardless.
On my mind: @ the strawberry patch by Mario's house they spelled strawberries wrong..."STRAWBERREIS" & they still put it up, how humiliating, but then again, normally I'm the only one whoever notices shit like that. bleh.
Another super bleak day. Went to Lindsays, ate Vincinis, it was good. She's ballin'. End of that. Procrastinating on my hw, ugh. Euoligy? wtf. Idk about this one. SATs saturday? Perfect fucking end to my week. yay for bitchassness. UGH!
My skin is hella dry so I've been piling on hella moisturizer, now I'm fucking breaking out on my forehead. sweet, I love when that happens. I really hope one day I become a journalist to write about what I want to write about. Like PerezHilton, homeboy gets douuuugh like pillsbury to talk shit. How crackin? haha, but I don't want to write about that stuff, just whatever I feel. Does this make me a columnist? OOOhhh like Carrie Bradshaw, cuute! Ultimate goal though would to be an actress, but for everyone one successful actress theres a million left in despair. bleh. -_- I just want to be something bigger than myself that people will remember. For good purposes. I want to leave this earth with a passion, something that inspires people, is that too much to ask?
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| Happy 21st babe, I love you, wish I was there.....
Closing, Closing, Closing, Closing...
SOO much has been happening lately, can a girl rant a little? I mean is it just me? I really just can't wait to get the eff out of here. School, home...ugh...social life. Always out of the loop. I guess I put myself in that position, but honestly what am I supposed to do? Almost been a whole year since I haven't talked to moms, think about it everyday. Maybe I do give a fuck, yanno?
Twitter, got one, get one, its cool. Have like 3 friends....2 don't count ones Mario and the other Marben, Nick counts, he's a friend. I guess babe counts too, he's my best friend.
I really need to reevaluate myself & figure out what it is I'm doing wrong? Not to be all emo & shit but fuckk, everyone's on my ass, and honestly all I do is try to make them happy. Why do I do that you ask? So I don't have to hear their shit. USC,HPU,UCSB? Bring it baby, I'm so fucking ready.
I feel like I'm stuck in this twilight zone where I don't belong anywhere...not here, not there, not anywhere.
Overreacting? maybe. Or maybe it's just pent up emotion?
Brighter side, Friday I get to treat babe with a delicious feast, mmm. He's turning 21 so obviously the only appropriate dinner would be what? BURGER SHOTS! hahah sooo cute huh? Homemade too. Funds have been low lately so I wasn't able to exactly buy him anything (trust me I'm still coping with it. =..[ ) but I got all my Jordans for sale, so if you want 'em I got em. I need $$. ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh.
Wish I had a laptop so I can put it in this babyyyy....
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